Tinny Timber

Last night was spent the way I seem to end up spending most of Friday nights recently - playing Fifa in Cliffey's room. Now as I believe I have previously mentioned here, I'm not the best at Fifa, and Cliffey and Tom were doing their best to put me off my game even further by bombarding me with Akon songs. I was not best pleased; Right Now is alright but that was the first song on the album, and there was a lot of crap to wade through afterwards. To make matters worse, once they'd tired of Akon they made a start on the Tinie Tempah.

Actually, forget "make matters worse". Tinie Tempah is better than Akon in my book (although that's not saying much), and I think his appeal comes mostly from his lyrics. Some of them are very silly indeed. I made the claim last night that anyone could write lyrics like that - it's just an assortment of arbitrary statements about his life. Cliffey said I should write my next blog in the style of a Tinie Tempah song, so that's what I'm gonna do. It was gonna be called Friday (Against All Odds) but looking at the Disc-Overy tracklist I don't think TT really does brackets, so instead it's simply called:

Against All Odds

I got uni at eleven in the morning
I gotta write a song and then make a recording
I make a techno track you cannot say is boring
The beat is thumping and the melodies are soaring

But there's a problem when I try to have a listen
The music cuts out like there's half a second missing
And while I'm fixing it I realise that I'm missing
Lunch with my girlfriend who I'd much rather be kissing

But against all odds
There can be no doubt
Give me forty-five minutes
And I'll sort this out
Yeah against all odds
I'll put up a fight
I'll give it everything I got
And it'll be alright

So now I gotta burn it onto CD
Sarah's waiting so I know I must be speedy
But there's more problems jumping out at me like 3D
'Cause when I try to go on Windows Medi

(a Player)

It says says my song ain't the right format
And let me tell you I don't motherfucking like that
I don't like iTunes 'cause the Mac lab ain't my habitat
And I gotta do this all in five minutes flat

But against all odds
There can be no doubt
Even in five minutes
I can sort this out
Yeah against all odds
I'll put up a fight
I'll give it everything I got
And it'll be alright

So I hand in my CD at the reception
I'm under pressure like I'm running for election
I call my baby up, I'm ready for redemption
I wanna cut this morning out like a c-section

We go to Queen Street for a cuppa and a sit down
We go to Caffé Nero, I feel like a hero
Such an awful morning, total utter zero
But there ain't none of that bullshit here, oh

'Cause against all odds
There can be no doubt
Give me forty-five minutes
And I'll sort this out
Yeah against all odds
I'll put up a fight
I'll give it everything I got
And it'll be alright
It'll be alright
It'll be alright
Flying like a kite
It'll be alright
Yeah.

Joel.