69 Christmas Songs
- Bing Crosby - White Christmas
Obviously. Apparently Bing Crosby was the greatest musical entrepreneur of the 20th Century, what with his early investment in magnetic tape and all, so show the man some respect. Last year was a white Christmas, if I remember correctly. There's a musical based on this (unless the musical came first, I'm not sure); I went to see it at the WMC a few years ago and coughed right through it. - Tom Lehrer - A Christmas Carol
An old favourite of mine about the true meaning of Christmas. My dad introduced me to Mr. Lehrer when I was about 11 and I've never looked back. You may know him for The Elements song; I think it was on The Big Bang Theory or something. - Greg Lake - I Believe In Father Christmas
Perhaps my favourite Christmas song of all time. Of all time! It's criminal how many people don't recognise it when I tell them that. The instrumental bit between verses is 'Troika' from Lieutenant Kije. I played it for my Grade 5 trumpet exam, which I passed with honours thank you very much. - Mud - Lonely This Christmas
Cliffey's rocking this one currently. It sound like Elvis but it's not. I like the spoken word bit towards the end, it's very country music-sounding. - Steeleye Span - Gaudete
As with Greg Lake, I was surprised when I realised how few people know this one. Tom and I did a techno Christmas mashup on Cubase a couple of years ago and he was a bit puzzled by my Gaudete section. Which kicked ass, I might add, especially the way I seamlessly managed to slot a few bars of Funkytown into the mix. - The Flaming Lips - Christmas at the Zoo
Sadly they didn't play this one at Green Man but whatever. It remains a heartwarming tale of doing it your own way...at Christmas. At the zoo. - King's College Choir - The Angel Gabriel
I went busking the other day and once I'd played through all the well-known songs in my book, I thought I'd flex my sight-reading and take a stab at some of the tunes I hadn't heard of. I started playing this one and, to my surprise, it turned out to be a song that Tom and I had sung in the St. Teilo's choir two Christmasses ago! I can still remember Mr. Pratt begging us not to sing "most highly flavoured gravy". - The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl - Fairytale of New York
Another obvious choice but I felt I had to include it. It's one of the best Christmas songs ever, no doubt, and the intro still makes me shiver. However, for the title of Best Christmas Duet... - The Hives & Cyndi Lauper - A Christmas Duel
...I'd say this one pips it to the post. Josh showed me this one last year, and for that I both thank and curse him because I've been singing it to myself nonstop for a good few weeks now. - The Magnetic Fields - Everything Is One Big Christmas Tree
Well I couldn't call it 69 Christmas Songs without including Merritt and co. in the proceedings. This one's off Realism, which came out this January, and is a whole lot of fun. It even has a verse in German. - Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas Is You
My Chemical Romance do a cover of this but I've not heard it and as I'm in Central Library at the moment I'm in no position to listen to it. So I'm going with the Mariah original because it's awesome and bouncy and immense fun to sing at the top of your voice, if you can hit those notes. Or even if you can't. Lost the 1994 Christmas #1 race to East 17, the bastards. - Allan Sherman - The Twelve Gifts of Christmas
Yes, it's another comedic comment on crass Christmas commercialism but cut off my coccyx if it isn't compelling. I personally prefer this to the song it's parodying because eventually he just gives up on listing everything he's already mentions and sticks with "...and all that other stuff". - John Denver & The Muppets - Little Saint Nick
We still have this tape somewhere and oh my word was this an inspired collaboration. I don't even think John Denver was in on this track but it still beats out the Beach Boys' version because that one doesn't have Animal going "RUN RUN REINDEER" in the background. - Nat 'King' Cole - The Christmas Song
Another oldie, another goodie. There aren't many other songs that I can hear as much as I've heard this one over the past couple of weeks and still love. - Half Man Half Biscuit - It's Clichéd To Be Cynical At Christmas
I actually quoted this song title at Pete about a week ago when he was moaning about Christmas adverts. Great band, and song, and fan-made video actually. I think Josh has a video of Llama Invasion playing this song in The Gower last year. - Alvin & The Chipmunks - Christmas Don't Be Late
It's not a patch on their various theme songs but oh well, they're not particularly Christmassy so this will have to do. - Slade - Merry Xmas Everybody
I always think of this song and the Wizzard Christmas song as being bitter rivals, perpetually warring for some Christmas #1 spot long in the past. Slade took first prize back in 1973 and I for one think they deserved it. Slade win by virtue of brevity; I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday is just too damn long. Plus the guy from Wizzard shouting "okay you lot, take it!" has nothing on Noddy Holder shouting "IT'S CHRIIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAS!" So yeah. - Mike Oldfield - In Dulci Jubilo
An instrumental one now. Mike Oldfield is best known for Tubular Bells (that's Theme from 'The Exorcist' to you and me) but this one is fantastic too. It's an old old standard but it's reimagined here and made a shade poppier. My gran was very impressed to find that I could play this on piano, more or less by ear. YES I'M AN AWESOME MUSICIAN SHUT UP. - Chris Rea - Driving Home For Christmas
According to Sarah's dad, Chris Rea is "shit hot". Except, presumably, in December, when he's probably rather cold. Lawl. This is my and Soph's song, because we were listening to it in Patsy last year and I misheard one of the lyrics and, well, these mistakes haunt you forever. Who wouldn't want to be "top to toe in Tipp-Ex"? - Spice Girls - Christmas Wrapping
Sarah's blood ran cold when I told her about the Spice Girls rapping. It needn't have. This is good. Not by them originally, but good. Much better than their minimalist version of Sleigh Ride, in which one of the daft bints professes that "you can do anything you want at Christmas, as long as it's good". Oh. Okay. - Bach Choir - See Amid The Winter's Snow
I hope you'll forgive me my love for these churchy choiry Christmas songs. My dad used to be a minister, you see, so I've had a fair bit of exposure to them over the years. I re-discovered this one while busking yesterday, and jeez I love that high bit in the middle. - "Weird Al" Yankovic - The Night Santa Went Crazy
More fan-made video goodness. I've gone with this one over Christmas At Ground Zero, because it's marginally less scary. Marginally. - Mogwai - Christmas Steps
Christmassy in no way bar the title, and it takes a while to get started, but give it time. It's a staple of my Christmas playlists, and lots of fun on Christmas Eve night. I think it's named after some stairs in Glasgow, but ignore that and pretend that those heavy bass notes are meant to represent Santa's footsteps in the hallway downstairs. - Chris de Burgh - A Spaceman Came Travelling
Bill Bailey would have you believe that you're meant to hate Mr. de Burgh, and you might feel dirty for liking this song, but it's okay. If you ignore Lady In Red, Chris de Burgh can actually be pretty rockin'. Don't Pay The Ferryman is one example; this is another, albeit a slightly more relaxed one. - Futurama - Elves' Song
From the Season 3 episode A Tale of Two Santas. This is sung after Bender agrees to take on the role of Santa, and the elves re-open their toy factory. I should point out that in the Futurama-verse, Santa is an evil robot who judges everyone to be naughty and wreaks havoc and destruction every year. But you already knew that. - Eels - Everything's Gonna Be Cool This Christmas
Judging by the video I assume this song was featured in The O.C. It just about beats out the other Eels choice, Christmas Is Going To The Dogs, which was featured in The Grinch but doesn't feature the line "Baby Jesus, born to rock!" and hence isn't as good. - Johnny Mathis - When A Child Is Born
"Bad but brilliant"? Fuck you, The Hits! This is just awesome, mostly because of Mathis' voice but also because of those little flute twinkles in the intro and the spoken word bit in the middle. It could perhaps do without the monologue at the start but in a way that makes it all the more comforting. I think this is one of my gran's favourites. - Kay Starr - (Everybody's Waitin' For) The Man With The Bag
Hadn't heard this swingin' number until last year when my 101 Christmas Songs compilation came along, and then it popped up on one of the adverts I think. One of the more actually Christmassy songs on said compilation, I mean what's the theme from From Russia With Love got to do with anything? - Melanie Thornton - Wonderful Dream (Holidays Are Coming)
The full version of the song from the Coke advert. It's not brilliant but I thought you guys might find it interesting. - Bruce Springsteen - Merry Christmas Baby
Rarely has the Boss been so funky, but I guess Christmas brings these things out of people. "Well Santa come down the chimney/Half three!/With lots of nice little presents for my/Baby and me!" Woohoo. - Banjo-Kazooie - Freezeasy Peak
I personally preferred Banjo-Tooie, with its darker storyline and unsurpassable multi-player mode (better than GoldenEye? Perhaps...), but then again it didn't have this music in any of the levels. Playing on Freezeasy Peak in any month other than December just makes you long for the year to go faster. - John Prine - Christmas In Prison
I discovered this song on a CD that came free with Uncut magazine. Apparently Bob Dylan played it on his radio show. It's a bit country but don't let that put you off, it's a lovely song and it may just bring the smallest tear to your eye, especially if you've ever spent Christmas in prison. - Band Aid 20 - Do They Know It's Christmas?
Most scholars agree that this isn't a patch on the original but hear me out. This was the last Christmas #1 before The X Factor sat on it for four years. It remains the last UK Christmas #1 to actually have anything to do with Christmas. A lot of people were fairly proud of themselves for getting Killing In The Name to the top spot last year, but I reckon we'd have been sending a bigger message had we gone with this. Not only because it was the last Christmas #1 before blah blah blah, but also because we'd be saying to Simon & Friends, "Look, we'd sooner buy this terrible rubbish than your bland factory pop." Although Pete informs me that a bunch of artists have gotten together to re-record 4'33", and buying silence would probably send a bigger message again. But will that have Busted or the drummer from Supergrass? Probably not. - Al Green - What Christmas Means To Me
YouTube seems to favour Stevie Wonder's version but the one I know is by Al Green so I'm going with that. I was just surprised to discover that he didn't just use Christmas as another excuse for gettin' some. He's pure (and a reverend, apparently), not like that dirty Mariah Carey. - The Ramones - Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)
I think this showed up on a BBC advert last year. I hadn't seen this video before, but I for one always think of a Brooklyn couple yelling at each other when I think of Christmas. And what a heartwarming ending. - Frankie Goes To Hollywood - The Power of Love
Now here's a song that has nothing to do with Christmas. I mean the video would have you believe otherwise, but I'm pretty sure it just came out around Christmas. But yeah, these guys are no better than myriad X-Factor winners in terms of unChristmassy Christmas songs. However it is a good song so I will let them off. - The Killers - Don't Shoot Me Santa
This is Sarah's favourite so I felt I had to include it. I wasn't too familiar with it but I'm listening to it now and it is pretty good. I love the little Brandon Flowers puppet. Apparently The Killers do a Christmas song every year, so good on them. - Jim Reeves - Silver Bells
The first I heard of this song was Moe from The Simpsons singing it as he was put under anaesthetic before plastic surgery. It's lovely and very soothing. A song to have a bath to. At Christmas. - Barenaked Ladies feat. Sarah McLachlan - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings
I was going to put up a choral version of God Rest Ye Merry but then I stumbled upon this and it's cooler. A very nice collision of voices, although it's a shame about the abrupt ending. Mr. Pratt was always sure to make clear that it's God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen, and not, in fact, God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen. The more you know! - Low - Just Like Christmas
Every so often I like to have a quick peek at DrownedInSound.com, and every year there's a thread about 'indie' Christmas songs, and every year somebody mentions Low's Christmas album. After avoiding it for many Christmasses I decided to have a listen to one of the songs off it and, low and behold (sorry), it's quite good! I just can't decide if it's miserable or not. - Thurl Ravenscroft - You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch
Six stanzas of unflinching character assassination later, I actually feel a little sorry for the Grinch. Bonus points for use of the term "heel", meaning 'villain'; I thought it came from professional wrestling but perhaps not. - Twisted Sister - Heavy Metal Christmas
I was struggling to think of a heavy metal Christmas song so I YouTube searched 'Metal Christmas' and, lo and behold, this popped up. It's another spoof of 12 Days but never mind, it's unashamedly awesomely METAL enough not to matter. I hope I get 8 pentagrams for Christmas. And everyone knows Dee Snyder is a hero. - The Jackson 5 - Up On The House Top
And if you've got a little excess testosterone after that last one, who better to fizzle it out than a prepubescent Michael Jackson? This does have an assfull of funk though, and that is some stone cold DRUMMING in the intro. - Dickie Valentine - Christmas Alphabet
One of the earliest UK Christmas #1s (1955) and seemingly the first one that had all that much to do with Christmas. Sweet enough, but there only seem to be 9 letters in this guy's alphabet, and they're quite severely out of order. Plus two of them are S. Oh, hang on, it spells Christmas. Now I get it. - R.E.M. - Christmas Griping
Okay, I was vaguely aware that R.E.M. gave everyone in their fanclub a special Christmas single around this time of year, but I'd never actually thought to listen to them. "Wouldn't you just love to throttle the person who invented fruit cake?" Oh my goodness. Surreal and hysterical. Love those "boom shaka-laka-laka ho ho ho!"s. - The Brute Chorus - (This Christmas) Bury Me In Hawaii
But we have to remember that Christmas isn't always hilarious. Bringing the second third of our feature to a close, it's a song about hanging yourself. This is another one that Josh showed me, and it's so deliciously creepy, especially with the video. Additionally, check that moustache out! Wah! - King's College Choir - Once In Royal David's City
Usually opens a proper Christmas church service. Sung as the choir files in, with one lucky boy singing the first verse solo. According to Mr. Pratt, nobody knows who the soloist is going to be until the event; apparently the choirmaster or whatever just picks one boy to do it on the spur of the moment. Choirmasters are dicks, it seems. - Andy Williams - It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
Well, it is. You can't deny it. I really like the drumming in this one. - Hot Chocolate - Brand New Christmas
Another one of the 101. I imagine most people know Hot Chocolate for steamy hit You Sexy Thing, but this song - about how "we need another Jesus" - is serious business. Seriously FUNKAY. It's funny because this song sounds more like Frankie Goes To Hollywood than the Frankie Goes To Hollywood Christmas song does. - The Pretenders - 2000 Miles
God help me I do love Chrissie Hynde's voice. That first line is just golden. She can get a bit worked up over the rights of delicious animals, but she's forgiven just for this song and Don't Get Me Wrong. - Spitting Image - Santa Claus Is On The Dole
So we've had robot Santas, Santas gone crazy, and the Nevada desert Santa who wants to kill Brandon Flowers for some reason, but here - for once - is a Santa Claus who isn't a psycho killer. It's a strangely human portrayal, actually, but it's nice to see that he's still jolly, in spite of poverty, elf suicide, and his reindeers being "sold for glue". - Wizzard - I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday
Oh go on then. It's still a good song, despite being second best. Actually, it's not even that - it didn't finish second to Slade in the chart race, it finished fourth. You know who actually came second? Gary Glitter. Fuck's sake Wizzard. - Mitch Benn - Thank God It Isn't Christmas Everyday
And another thing, Wizzard: no, you don't wish it could be Christmas everyday. That would be awful. For reasons outlined here. - Manic Street Preachers - Last Christmas
I've gone for this version over Wham! because James Dean Bradfield has a lovely voice and more people need to be made aware of it. This is pretty haunting actually, some delicious reverb on the louder notes. It is, however, a little grating when he says "stop me from tears" instead of "save me from tears". But that's my only complaint. - Chixie Dix - All I Want For Christmas Is To Be Jewish
At this festive time of year it's important to remember that Christmas isn't the only option. Some people will be lighting Menorah instead of Advent candles, and looking forward to the visit of the Holiday Armadillo instead of Santa, and spinning dreidels instead of all of their money away on too many presents. So here is the tight-fisted Jew stereotype embodied in song form by some guys who are sick of "exchanging gifts that we don't even like". I like the extremely Jewish interjections ("Don't forget the gefilte fish!") but I don't like the slightly uncomfortable shot of a sausage getting circumcised with a cleaver, followed as it is by the leering visage of a pleased-looking Rabbi. - Destiny's Child - 8 Days Of Christmas
Last 12 Days parody, I swear. Not sure why they shortened it to 8 days - 12 is divisible by 4 too, and would have fit the verse structure just fine, maybe they just ran out of lyrics - but it's a fine slice of Yuletide R&B nonetheless. Although it kills me that the "Doesn't it feel like Christmas?" section never resolves into "All the women who independent!" - Lisa Hannigan - Silent Night
This was a hidden track on Damien Rice's first album (Lisa Hannigan being the lady who sang on quite a lot of his songs) and even though the lyrics are somewhat different it still reminds you of Christmas so into the pot it goes. I for one prefer Damien Rice's second album, 9. - Hoodoo Gurus - Tojo
Not particularly Christmassy at first glance, but "Tracey, would you listen? This is Christmas!" gives it away. So yes it does count as a Christmas song, stop asking. - Radiohead - Winter Wonderland
It's anyone's guess as to the origin of this, but I would hesitantly suggest that they probably played this live as some sort of special secret encore after most of the crowd had gone home and Thom Yorke had gotten slightly drunk. "We have been...the Smurfs." - The Royal Guardsmen - Snoopy's Christmas
I've discovered a fair few gems while searching for stuff to fill the gaps in this list. I think this has something to do with The Christmas Truce of 1914 (that's the only time YouTube comments will actually be useful) but where it really scores points with me is with the reference to Snoopy's never-ending dogfight (sorry again) with The Red Baron. - Cliff Richard - Mistletoe & Wine
I was torn between this and Saviour's Day, but in the end I decided that they were pretty much interchangeable and just flipped a coin. - Animaniacs - Noel
Another churchy one, but I decided that I didn't want to give King's College Choir even more free exposure, so here is the 'terrible pun' version of this old favourite. - The Vandals - Oi! To The World
It's a football hooligan Christmas! This was thrown up when I googled "punk christmas songs", and I was so surprised that it wasn't just a half-arsed parody of Joy To The World that I thought I'd bung it in. No Doubt seem to have covered it, but stick with the original; academics agree that "oi" and "pub" are words that Gwen Stefani really just ought to leave alone. - David Bowie & Bing Crosby - Little Drummer Boy
Or "Carol of the Drum" as us brass band types know it. This is a lovely video, Bing Crosby seems so goshdarned nice. And David Bowie so goshdarned cockney. - John Lennon - Happy Xmas (War Is Over)
Seems to appear as the opening track on pretty much every compilation it graces so I've left it 'til late in the list because I'm pretty anti-establishment like that. A lovely song, and for a long time the only John Lennon number I'd heard (why was Imagine so late to the party? Who knows.) but Christ alive think twice before you watch the video. Sobering stuff. - Bo Selecta - Proper Crimbo
I'm guessing there's probably not much of a serious, anti-war message behind this one. Sarah suggested I include it, and I'd much rather listen to this than something featuring the real Craig David. - Frank Sinatra - Have Yourself A Merry Christmas
Probably the only Christmas song that can reduce me to a sobbing wreck, and I suspect the power of the line about "faithful friends" to bring a tear to my eye will only increase what with everyone going to uni and such. - King's College Choir - O Come All Ye Faithful
Oh fine, one more appearance from Da KC Kroo. Usually sang at the end of December church services, with more and more verses being sung every Sunday until, eventually, the whole thing gets an airing on the 25th. And of course it's impossible for those of a brass band and/or choir background - sorry to keep banging on about this sort of thing but it's my list, if you want to talk about Wizzard some more we'll do it on your blog - to imagine this song without the descant (high bit) at around the 2 minute mark. - Queen - Thank God It's Christmas
And FINALLY! A golden number from Freddie Mercury and co. that, as far as I'm concerned, has to round off every Christmas playlist. Although having said that, it's probably best if you listen to it once a year, just before you go to bed on December 25th.
Merry Christmas,
Joel.
*All the Biffy Clyro talk led to me having a dream about them. I was walking to uni one morning and, as I passed the CIA, I noticed that Biffy Clyro were doing a signing thing for their fans. I decided to try and get something signed for Cliffey, big fan that he is, but when I approached the table and handed a flyer to one of the band (they all looked like the beardy lead singer because he's the only one I know) he simply handed it back to me unsigned. Subsequent attempts were unsuccessful and I eventually left empty-handed. So fuck you, dream Biff!
Good effort, but lacking in 'stop the cavalry'.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I played Troika for my Grade 5 too...