Joel's Christmas Message

Now that the pillowcase that I labelled ("Joel Dear - Please Give Generously - Thank You") has been emptied of presents...

Now that I've completed my obligatory annual hour in church, singing carols my dad was saying only yesterday how much he hates (Once In Royal David's City is too preachy, The First Noel too long)...

Now that I've spoken to Sarah so that we can exchange Christmasses and wish we were in the other's houses/arms (alright that was lame I'm sorry)...

Now that we've made the slightest dent in that 19lbs turkey and sampled Brussels sprouts done Heston Blumenthal style (all torn up with butter and bacon)...

Now that we've gotten those cracker jokes out of the way ("What's minty and furry? A Polo bear."), including my brother's one which was printed backwards for some reason...

Now that everyone's harvested their loot from under the tree and torn off the wrapping paper we all took such care applying (and given how close we were to running out last night, you'd think people would have learned to conserve it)...

Now that everyone's presents are in neat little piles (I got an iPod and a woodblock, and these cool little nibbles bowls that my mum made from old 7"s, one of which was Star Trekkin' by The Firm)...

Now that we realise that John Barrowman was always going to be quite good at dancing anyway (and quite loud and annoying when he's not being Captain Jack Sparrow Harkness)...

Now that we've decided we were still hungry, in spite of the huge dinner that filled us up earlier (so much so that we had to take a rest before we attacked the trifle and pavlova) and feasted on turkey and mayo sandwiches...

Now that I've plugged in my new iPod, surrendered my soul to Steve Jobs, and started converting all of my WMAs into something that iPods can handle (I'll get over this Apple-hatred soon enough, just having a few teething issues)...

I can wish you all a Merry Christmas. Hope your stomachs are full of food and your houses full of new stuff.

Sorry about not updating much this month. I daresay there'll be some My Year In Lists stuff before New Year's, and normal service will resume in January.

And yes, I'm as upset as you that I didn't do a Goats of Gemma Meadows Christmas Special where an old miser is visited by the Goats of Christmas Past, Present, and Future. It probably would have been hilarious.

Joel.