A Fool and His Money

(In the style of Charles Dickens, at JR's behest)

It is in the very heart of Cardiff that our story begins. The city was a-bustle with people, and the wrinkled fingers of Autumn's cruel hand had just begun to close.

Joel Dear was a young, slender man, but his wire-like frame concealed a mighty appetite. Regrettably, his bankroll did not match his hunger, and he frequently found himself unable to satiate it.

He was betrothed to an equally young, equally slender girl named Sarah Macleod, and it was to her that the task of feeding her beloved fell. She spent her Saturdays working in her father's watersports emporium, and most of the money she earned went towards food for the young Master Dear. He was an expensive man to keep, but Miss Macleod's demeanour was always sunny, and she never let a frown onto her face.

On this particular afternoon, the two had finished a light luncheon at Sub City - at Sarah's expense, naturally - and she had returned to her studies, while he was heading home to enjoy an afternoon of leisure. But as he trod the sun-dappled streets back to his hovel, a thought struck him; was he really as penniless as he had convinced himself?

He ran to his bank and enquired as to his balance. The clerk was a gentleman named Mr.
Holeinthewall, and he was almost mechanical in the way he went about his business.

"You have one thousand, four hundred and seventy-one pounds and seventy-two pence," said Holeinthewall presently. Joel almost fell over. He asked the elderly clerk to check again.

"You have one thousand, four hundred and seventy-one pounds and seventy-two pence," came the reply, just as before.

Now Joel Dear may have been a costly lover to keep around, but he had a heart, and a big heart at that.  Whenever Sarah had paid for his food or bus fare he had felt a pang of guilt, and he wanted to thank and reward her for her kindness in these lean times.

The plan was already hatched. Dear happened to know that a troupe of musicians calling themselves the Arcade Fire would be in Cardiff in a few months' time, and Sarah dearly wanted to go. But of course she had been saving every penny of her earnings, lest her darling Joel grow hungry, and had been unable to afford the cost of tickets. So young Dear decided that this would be his first purchase: two tickets to see the Arcade Fire perform.

Dear's afternoon was to be occupied by a man named Cliffe and lady named Sharp. Together, the three of them were heading to an establishment called the Cardiff Arts Institute, where they could recline in the comfort of a large chair and exercise their creativity on the Lego walls.

Mr. Thom Cliffe was a steep man with a craggy face. His friend, Miss Anna Sharp, was a tall young woman, and every word she spoke sliced through the air like a swordsman's flashing blade. They were serious, serious people with serious, serious, serious purposes in life, but for now their only purpose was to spend the afternoon chattering to each other and playing Cluedo. Dear defeated them both, correctly deducing that one Miss Scarlet was the murderer once again, but he seemed throughout the game eager to return home, home to his sweetheart.

The air in Cardiff that evening was beyond balmy, and the sun's rays beat down upon Joel Dear like a policeman's baton. Thom and Anna were making the return journey with him, but all he could think of was repaying the debt he owed his lover, and how wonderful their lives would be now that they were both moneyowners. Sarah Macleod, who never let her sunshine disappear, deserved a pleasant life, free from worry and discomfort. Dear wanted nothing more than to provide.

And upon his return...all that might be said is that she was just as pleased as he had hoped, and as excited as he was about the money.

They thought of all the marvellous things they would buy.

All the glorious foods they would eat.

And all the life they had yet to live.

(Tomorrow - Cutlery in the style of a Michael Bay movie script!)

Joel.