The Big Jam Sandwich-Eating Contest

And so last night, the momentous moment finally arrived. 'Washington' Dave Camilleri took on Thom 'Tenderloin' Cliffe for the title of...person who can eat the most jam sandwiches. Also Padbury joined in:

(N.B. If anyone with some image editing software that isn't MS Paint wants to do me a picture of Cliffey and Dave facing off, that would be cool. Something along these lines if you could. Thanks.)

So the evening began with our three combatants preparing their feast. Three pots of blackcurrant jam and six (!) loaves of bread were turned into a 48-sandwich obstacle course that would test these athletes to their very limit.

Each contestant received a plate of 16 sandwiches each, and as the battle began, it became clear that none of them wanted to rush their efforts (as Cartwright shrewdly pointed out, "it's not a race, it's a marathon").

So it was to be a war of attrition. We put Friends on in the background to pass the time. Some made better headway than others, but Cliffey (who started to fall behind his rivals some time around Sandwich #5) made it clear that speed was not the key factor here; the winner would be the man who could eat the most sandwiches, not the one who could eat a few sandwiches quickly. It was anyone's game.

But around the seventh or eighth sandwich, they started to lag. All three of them. It got a little strategic. Padbury started folding his sandwiches so that he could eat them in fewer bites; Dave took to tearing his sandwiches apart, presumably to make the task ahead of him seem less gargantuan. Cliffey began testing each sandwich's moisture levels, so that he could keep things a little varied.

Alas, to no avail. With still a good nine sandwiches between any of them and victory, it was decided that The Big Jam Sandwich-Eating Contest was to be rained off. Padbury had to go home anyway, and Cliffey and Dave didn't seem that thrilled at the prospect of carrying on. 

So instead of finishing their sandwiches, they decided to do something different: set them on fire.

(I do have a pretty cool picture of this but sadly the computer isn't recognising my camera so that will have to wait.)

I know not whether the boys will return to the grand hall of jam sandwich marathons. For now they are pursuing other endeavours; Cartwright seems tragically assured that he can eat four cream crackers in one minute.

Joel.