A Day In The Life

I started today wrapped in a duvet, and was reluctant to relinquish this favourable position. So, while Sarah had to drag herself to a 9am media lesson, I spent my morning on a comfortable sofa, still wearing my bed, and watching Shaun the Sheep on catch up with JR. There was one particularly sweet episode where he meets a lady sheep and everyone's a dick to them and then she gets taken away but then she doesn't leave because the dick sheep from earlier did a nice thing. It was very emotional and to tell the truth I was a bit misty-eyed at the end.

Which may lend some credence to Soph's theory that I've gone all soft and gay recently. Mind you, all I did to provoke this hypothesis was make a pair of foil-wrapped bagels for Sarah and me, and frankly if a man likes the odd bagel now and then and finds a woman of a similar disposition, why shouldn't they eat bagels together? Besides, Soph was supposed to be in work so her thoughts don't count, food poisoning or no food poisoning.

Sarah didn't eat her bagel anyway, 'cause by the time I met her outside Coleg she'd had a baguette, which I'm told is like a bagel but long instead of circular. But yeah, the plan for the afternoon was to head to Cardiff Bay, where Sarah would be taking some black and white photos as part of her photography course. While we waited for the teacher lady to arrive, we headed into the Millennium Centre, and was there an event going on in there. Kids from three different primary schools singing - and quite well, I might add - about how proud they are to be Welsh, to a big band/funk backing track. There was even a rap section, and I don't *think* the guy who manned it was from GLC, but he might as well have been. Anywho, the song was called something like 'Sing Out Loud', so try to find it if you can.

We eventually got to the photo-takin', and Sarah had been working so hard that I decided it was time for her to buy me a milkshake, so we went into Cadawalder's for a quick break. Unfortunately, Sarah had the SHEER GALL to take a photo in the shop without asking permission, and she was roundly chewed out by the rather curt lady on the till.

After this encounter we headed to a different café place in the bay - I forget the name - and I asked the lady there if they did milkshakes.

"We," she replied in a Russian-ish accent, "do frappés."

So I bought a Strawberries & Cream frappé with Sarah's money and we went back to wandering the bay. The rest of the two hours passed more or less without incident and, in the end, Sarah went back to Penarth for a dental appointment while I headed to the Atrium for my hour and a half of full-time education. I won't bore you with the details of my studio operating lecture - the highlight was the bit about using "positive bullshit" to get musicians in a studio to perform better - but I will tell you that the studio we were in is very nice and overlooks Adam Street, two floors below. You can see trains going past, and cars on their way to the bay via that mainish road that comes off near the Atrium.

All of which brought me back here, writing my blog on Cliffey's laptop because I still haven't worked out why mine won't work. Tonight we're going to The George for Tim's official send-off (he's actually not leaving 'til Sunday - I daresay he has some packing to do before then), and on returning from that I'll probably just go to bed.

What a life I lead.

Joel.

Play The Knob Song

Another day, another trip to CAI. Once again we were there to watch Josh Price in glorious guitar-playin' action, and once again we were not disappointed.

Well, I was a little disappointed that he hadn't written The Knob Song yet, but he made the mistake of introducing one of the songs he had written as "a new one I haven't titled yet".

Needless to say, that's now The Knob Song instead.

Earlier today I went to university on a bus. I will start taking my bike eventually, but the front wheel keeps slipping 'round at the moment and I'm too lazy to go out to the shed and tighten it. Plus it was raining this morning. Anyway, I went to university and managed to organise myself into a band. We have to put on a themed gig this year and we've already pretty much decided on our theme but it's top secret for now so you'll just have to wait.

Unless of course I've already told you.

Joel.

The Goats From Gemma Meadows (Part 3)

Part 2 is here.

Cliffey arrived back at Gemma Meadows and sulked. He sulked hard and he sulked deep. He had lost his two best friends in all the world so he sulked. His stomach was aching from all the marshmallow so he sulked.

The dandelions here weren't all that dandy.

So he sulked.

He had been sulking for precisely two hours and thirteen minutes when Goldberg, the Jewish man who looked after the goats, came by for feeding time.

"I'm not hungry," said Cliffey, sulkily.

"Why not?" asked Goldberg. He was concerned; when feeding time came around, Cliffey was always first in line for the best grub.

"Too full."

"Well, I'm sure Sarah and Pete will be only too happy to-" Goldberg looked around. "Where are your friends?"

Cliffey said nothing. Goldberg looked at him sternly.

"You didn't eat them, did you?"

* * *

Pete was getting worried. He and Sarah had been trudging along this increasingly barren path for over two hours now, and Joel Fields was nowhere to be seen. Wasn't it supposed to be just over the troll bridge?

Sarah was getting tired. Her tummyache had subsided some time ago, and she was growing a little hungry too. She salivated at the thought of the lush green grass that awaited them in Joel Fields. Surely it couldn't be much farther now?

Besides being tired and hungry, Sarah was also a little panicky. She had spent the whole journey hoping that the troll from the bridge wasn't still after them, and the only reason she hadn't demanded a break from walking yet was fear, fear that the terrible thing they had confronted earlier might be just behind them. Pete had assured her that he would have given up and gone back to his bridge by now, but she wasn't totally convinced. Besides, that wasn't the only thing bothering her.

"Pete?"
"Yes?"

Sarah hesitated. "How do we know that Joel Fields even exists?"

Pete stopped walking, and this made Sarah nervous.

"It just does, okay?"

And with that, they carried on.

* * *

Cliffey explained to Goldberg that, no, he hadn't eaten Sarah and Pete, but he didn't think they'd be showing their faces around here anytime soon.

Goldberg asked why not.

Cliffey told him, with no small amount of tutting and eye-rolling, that they were going to start a new life in Joel Fields, where the grass was twice as green and the dandelions twice as dandy.

Goldberg just stood there, silent and wide-eyed.

Cliffey asked, had Goldberg ever heard of Joel Fields?

Goldberg said get in the van, I'll explain on the way.

TO BE CONTINUED

In Anticipation of Klezmer

So slowly but surely we're preparing to slot into our respective routines. I've had my first lectures of the year, Gem sorted out her plans this morning, and Cliffey is enrolling tomorrow morning. Having said that, Pete's being somewhat vague about when he starts, and Soph's taking this whole week off work, so we've not all got our noses to the grindstone. Lazy Soph.

Now. I seem to have neglected to mention the gig at CAI the other night. Basically, we had heard previously of a "funk/ska/gypsy/swing" gig at the arts institute on Saturday, but only realised on the day that it was the Klezmer Kollectiv, whom our regular followers will recognise as the band of the moment around here right now.
So we got to CAI around 9 and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
I asked the barmaid when they'd be on, and was told "around half 11,ish".
We waited.
At around 11.45, I asked the woman at front of house. She told me that they'd be on at about half midnight.
We waited some more, and they finally came on and played some music. But who was in attendance? And what were their reactions?
Joel - pleasure at slowly getting to know the songs he was hearing
Sarah - tiredness at having waited so long
Cliffey - ecstasy, particularly at realising he had worn his Tetris t-shirt
Peter - joy at shouting "Hey!" so often
Tim - unusually unhinged and wild and jumpin'
Andy - rather taken with this new discovery
Meic - mild enjoyment, possibly
Tom - utter bewilderment, judging by his expression
Soph wasn't there but she suggested that we were "pretty gay" for going to see this band. She hasn't heard the Kollectiv because she left Milgi's early the first time we saw them and she doesn't spend much time in Cliffey's car.
Gem offered no comment.
Joel.
P.S. JR, Cliffey and I played Risk earlier today but I didn't win so I didn't feel it merited inclusion in the main body of the blog.
P.P.S. JR won.

Summer's Gawn

Well I hope you all enjoyed In The Style Of... week. Which was your favourite? Mine was the Bible one because it wasn't an utter bitch to write.

I go back to university tomorrow, so even though it's late September, my Summer officially ends today (it began back on the last day of April, when I handed in my last pieces of work for the year, or possibly three weeks later, when I was fired from Beanfreaks and thus didn't have to do any work whatsoever any more). And what have I spent the last 4 and a half months or so doing?

Well, there was Green Man...and my birthday, that was pretty awesome. The World Cup was fun even if the final was super-boring and I had to buy Tom a meal at The Harvester due to losing our fantasy football fing. Cliffey has just pointed out that he went to Australia but there's a whole other blog dedicated to that and besides it wasn't really a thing that I did so I don't even know why I mentioned it to be honest. I went to many places with my partner in boning crime Sarah Macleod, including Bristol, Narbeth, and Cardiff...yeah. I saw, among others, Los Campesinos! at the Big Weekend, a thing I did which Cliffey - sat next to me as I type - is very bitter about. I gave blood and was given a shiny bit of plastic with my name on it for my trouble. I watched Toy Story 3...I watched other films too but Toy Story 3 was the best, and it felt more like an event than a film. I took my Grade 8 drumkit exam, and, as I recently discovered, passed it! And, of course, I moved into a house with some people I know.

I have done many things, and bought many albums, but as far as I'm concerned, four and a half months of summer was simply not enough.

Oh well. There aren't too many lectures between now and Christmas.

Joel.

Cliffey visits a value supermarket

Today's reading is taken from the Book of Tesco.

Cliffey took his friends to Tesco that they might do a big shop, for the wares there were low of price and moderately good of quality. Cliffey, Joel, Sarah and Pete were those who went. In the midst of the big shop Cliffey and Pete left to take Andy, known to Cliffey as a fellow disciple of St. John, into the town of Cardiff. During this period, Joel and Sarah were left to wonder the shop alone, steering both Joel's trolley and Cliffey's trolley. While Cliffey was away, Joel and Sarah put a coconut in his trolley, and Cliffey saw that the jest was good, and the coconut, being of modest price, was bought.

In the aisle of toys and other such leisures, Sarah came upon a Mr. Bump plush, and said "I love this Mr. Bump plush, for he is soft and huggable," and with some nudges and suggestion from Pete, Joel came to buy the plush for Sarah. And lo, he was blessed with packets of custard powder for 6 pence.

In the aisle of herbs, spices and marinades, Pete did express his disdain for Joel's choice of marinade. He did say that lemon & herb is ungodly and that a more flavoursome sauce wouldst be more enjoyable, suggesting BBQ chicken. Joel didst retort that he would stick with the lemon and herb, and maybe even use it on a fish dish rather than chicken. And from Pete there came much wailing and gnashing of teeth. 

In the aisle of canned goods, Cliffey did find an inexpensive-looking can of curry sauce. He enquired as to its price and was told by Joel that the price was 8 pence. "I must buy ten!" Cliffey exclaimed, and he did fill his arms. 

In the cake aisle the Devil did appear to Sarah and she were sore tempted by his rich chocolate celebration cakes for under two pounds. But Joel did chide his woman for her temptation and they ended up getting a microwavable chocolate brownie thing instead. It was not the best. 

Joel was enjoying the benefits of a student loan, and his trolley was filled with crisps, and blackcurrant high juice, and two for one bagels, and salmon burgers, and tiger bread, and crumpets, and sausages, and value yoghurt, and biscuits, blank CDs, and Fairy liquid, and apple crumble, and seafood sticks, and peanut butter, and Ricicles, and Tesco's Finest yoghurt, and a Toy Story CD for Cliffey, and tuna, and drinking chocolate, and many bags of pasta, and several other things, and the whole bunch did cost fifty-two pounds and sixty-six pence, but keep in mind that this included a ten pound Mr. Bump plushie so in reality this figure is slightly skewed.

Upon returning home, Cliffey did have a torrid time trying to fit all his purchases in his small cupboard. But, with God's help and some Tetris-like re-arranging, he did accomplish this. "This stock shall surely last me some weeks," he did declare. And Tim, who was about, did enquire as to whether Joel had purchased a marker pen that he might start chalking up the man points. And the answer that came was no, and Tim said "verily, thou art a div."

P.S. The guy from Lostprophets was there.

Goodbye to Sian

I am writing a blog in the style of Doc Seuss,
Because Joshua Price, may his neck find a noose,
Had a clever idea (and it's not the first time)
To get me to make all my ponderings rhyme.
So I'm dirty and smelly and needing a shower,
And at a PC at some ungodly hour,
And writing in what's called, according to Wiki,
"Anapestic Tetrameter". It's a tad tricky.

So last night I made the long trip to Penarth
With Sarah Macleod, my superior half,
To bid a farewell to her dear friend Sian Lewis.
We got on the bus that would take us from Crwys
To sweet central Cardiff, from whence we could trip
On another bus, bound for that glorious township
Where cliffs and the sea and the rocks and the like,
Were put in a song sung by Tom, Joel and Meic.

We stopped off at Tesco to buy a baguette,
And then headed to Sian's where I got my lips wet
In a glass of white wine, for the sake of occasion,
And my God, the taste! Like a Nazi invasion!
But other than that it was quite the rum do,
We listened to Will playing music from Who,
Sian made us all popcorn, we gobbled it up,
I made some bad jokes and was promptly told "shup".

But thanks to Sian's clock being ten minutes slow,
We missed the last bus back to Cardiff, and so
We got the last train (no-one asked for a fare)
Arrived at 'Diff Central, and taxi'd from there.
Thus endeth our tale, and what now to do?
Sian's going to uni, and others will too,
How many will stay when these students have gone?
My guess is somewhere between many and none.

(Tomorrow - in the style of the Bible!)

Joel.