I have my reservations, however. I had one yesterday afternoon, and the sheer disorientation- nay, terror I experienced on waking up at 7.40pm was NOT refreshing in the least. I felt lost and afraid and I if I ever power nap again I will have to time it a lot more carefully.
Anywho, by the time my trembling had subsided and I'd managed to eat something, the others had sat down in the living room for a spot of Bond on the N64. Pete had just edged past Cliffey when I had my bright idea: as there were 8 people present (that's "The Core Eight", as we are now termed; the five housemates plus Sarah, Alex and JR), why not have a knockout tournament? We could have a bracket and everything.
Cliffey was NOT impressed. He felt that, had he known he was involved in a knockout situation rather than just a friendly game of Goldeneye, he would have applied himself a little more, and would have been able to show Pete what's what. We ignored this, and I drew up a bracket (I do love my tournament brackets):
PETE vs. CLIFFEY JR vs. ALEX SOPH vs. JOEL SARAH vs. GEM
With Cliffey already out (under protest), the other three match-ups went as follows: JR demolished Alex with something like 9 kills to 1; I beat Soph fairly comfortably, although perhaps not as comfortably as JR may have done; and Sarah, who we decided was actually quite good at Goldeneye but pretending to be rubbish. beat Gem in one of the closer matches that evening.
So the bracket now looked like this:
PETE vs.
PETE vs. JR JOEL vs. SARAH
After a quick friendly between Sarah and Cliffey, to make up for his being knocked out while unaware of the circumstances, it was back down to business. For the semifinals, we changed the chosen weapon set from 'Power Weapons' to 'Automatics'. Shit was gettin' serious.
In semifinal #1, Pete got quite annoyed with JR's tactics, which were basically 'run away until you find the best gun and the body armour, then kill your opponent as much as possible'. JR won and Pete, like the man he beat to get to this round, was left NOT BEST PLEASED.
Semifinal #1 looked to be an interesting prospect, with all present (bar Soph and Alex who had gone to bed by this point) wondering whether I would let my girlfriend win or be a man and throw her to the curb.
PETE vs.
JR vs. JOEL
I was amazed to have reached the final, but JR's route had been far tougher than mine (and, comedy aside, my victory over my better half was considerably harder-fought than I might have hoped) and I had everything to prove. The chosen arena was the Temple, as it had been for every match so far. The weapon set was Lasers, although that turned out to be slightly misleading because the only "laser" weapon was the Moonraker Laser, and that was what we were both going for.
In truth there was never any competition. The 5-minute match consisted of one brief moment where I was in control, bookended by two mammoth periods of me getting my ass handed to me by a guy with a laser.
So congratulations to JR, who always seemed to know where the good guns and body armour were. He is now officially the house's Goldeneye champion, despite not actually living there.
I reckon I could take him at Tekken, though.
Aftermath: we stuck the tournament bracket on the fridge, complete with a glorious crown doodled over JR's name in the final. Later, Pete scrawled something underneath about JR being a dirty body armour scrub.
See you on Monday, when hopefully, for the first time, Cutlery will be coming to you from THE HOUSE ITSELF.
Joel.
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